Lots has happened in the last week or so. My father went into the hospital last wednesday because he had a seizure. My mother took him from work to the ER where I witness, what is probably the scariest thing I have ever seen. Watching someone you love shake uncontrollably is a very hard thing to watch. The cause of the seizure we found out, was more swelling of the brain, and eventually growth of the tumor. Its another set back in my fathers recovery, and it seems we just cant get around them. It feels as though every chance of something going wrong or bad, it usually does. He is such a good man, and does not deserve any of it. We are waiting to find out the next steps. The good thing, if there is a good thing, is that there are options for treatment. As long as there is options, I am hopeful.
Its hard to describe the way I feel these days. Some days are great. Everything goes well. Some days are not. The smallest things can annoy me. I am not really sure who I am some days. I am taking out my frustrations on G and that isnt fair. I am trying to stay as positive as possible but my faith is wavering. I just want everything to be OK. Not only am I dealing with my fathers illness, but planning this wedding has got me stressed as well. I dont know who thinks this is a fun processes! Maybe its because I have too many other things on my mind.
Our days and weekends are filling up with things to do. I don't think G and I are going to have a break until after the wedding. Another 4 months!! I hope I survive. I am happy to say though, that last night, my mother, sister and I did some major wedding stuff. I have delegated things from my list to theirs and am feeling a little bit calmer about the whole situation. I cant wait for our wedding day. I hope it is the most unstressful day ever.. thats what all this planning is for, right!?